Breaking the Silence: Miscarriage

“The Lord is near to the brokenhearted and saves the crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18

A recent nationwide survey¹ reveals that the majority of Americans believe the many myths that surround miscarriage.

Due to a culture that treats miscarriage as taboo, few realize that pregnancy loss is a common occurrence: 15 to 20 percent of pregnancies result in miscarriage. Some believe the numbers may be even higher. The misconceptions that surround miscarriage often pressures those who miscarry to grieve the loss of their unborn child in silence.

In her article about the survey, Laura Geggel also points out that many people do not understand what causes miscarriages. There is a wide spread belief that most miscarriages are caused by lifestyle choices: drug, alcohol and tobacco use, the mother experiencing ongoing stress or a stressful event, lifting something heavy, etc. However, 60 percent of miscarriages actually have medical or genetic causes, such as aneuploidy, where the unborn child haves an incorrect number of chromosomes, or if the mother suffers from a health issue.

Unfortunately, even though medicine is beginning to understand the science behind miscarriages, 57 percent of those surveyed who admit to having experienced a pregnancy loss were not told what might of caused it. This leaves the would-be parents struggling with finding answers. Many suffer from guilt and shame, feeling as if they did something wrong to cause the miscarriage or that they should have been able to prevent it somehow. Some may feel anger towards the Lord, and well-meaning church members might say something that they intend is comforting but ends up hurting the grieving mother and father.

We need to stop treating miscarriage and other forms of pregnancy loss as a taboo subject. We need to have an open, honest conversation in our homes and our churches. Pregnancy loss happens, it happens more often than we realize, and those who experience this tragic loss need support. They need to know they are not alone. That death and pain was not part of the Lord’s plan for humanity and that one day their tears will be wiped away (Revelation 21:1-4)

There is a high probability that someone in your family or local church has gone through pregnancy loss. Are we turning a blind eye to someone who is brokenhearted? Crushed in spirit? Do the words we say belittle the pain of their loss?

Let’s start a conversation.

• What can we as individuals and local churches do to minister to parents grieving a pregnancy loss?
• For those who have experienced the pain of this loss first hand, what guidance would you share? Were you able to find the support you needed? What comforted you the most?

Prayer

Dear Lord, please be near all those who have experienced a painful loss. May they find peace and comfort in You. May You guide each of us into greater compassion towards one another, giving us eyes to see the hurting and minds to know how to ease their suffering.

¹ http://www.foxnews.com/health/2015/05/12/most-americans-believe-miscarriage-myths/